wow... 2 years! poof! its gone and im back! way too much has happened since that last post. helen broke up with me, started dating this guy cody, and has been with him for like a year now... i no ... but i met this awesome girl Chantiel, dated her for 5 months, and realized i am not ready to move on and get into a whole new relationship again so i broke up with her. So, to make a long story a little shorter, ive been single, just missin Shumi for a good 2 months now. I have held up relativly well considering how much ive missed her, how alone ive been, and how shes treated me. Theres been times i felt i was going crazy, and didnt know what the hell i was doing or why i was doing it, and im pretty much still at that point. There was a point where Helen told me we shouldnt talk anymore. That hurt a lot, but i couldnt help how i felt about her. So i just let her go, do her thing, and hoped  for the best. We're currently on better terms now, even though she is still with Cody, and talk much more often. Ive decided i need a break from everything, including school and Rusty Surfboards, and am moving to Puerto Rico with my boy Brad to live there untill we feel like coming back. Hopefully well get some good surf out there, some decent jobs, and be able to support ourselves without draining our savings. Were hopin to make a surf/travel video in the process, and maybe that can go somewhere? Helen seems to be unhappy with Cody and is apparently just waiting for the day for them to break up. I'm not sure if thats good or bad. I can tell Helen still cares for me, dispite what she and anyone else may tell me, and there is hopefully a possible future in us. The thing that scares me is how she is staying with Cody even though she is unhappy... i hope that if we do ever get back together again, this doesnt happen between me and her, and that it hasnt happened in the past. Anyway, summer is going decent. im working a ton to pay rent and bills (forgot to mention i moved out with wes to a 2 bedroom appartment 5 months ago) and save money for Puerto Rico. Dyno Day 27 just passed, it was a lot of fun and I designed the shirts! They came out sick and all went well. Im moving back home for a month befor Puerto Rico, then Ill be gone for a while! I cant wait! Today is Helen's 22 Birthday, and she should be calling me soon to come by and get her present i made her. I have collected sea glass for the past month or so, and i made a sweet little art peice for her :) i dont know whos fault it is, but i cant stop thinking about this girl! Maybe im just over optimistic with her, but what are ya gonna do. So there's this years book, cant wait for PR, and ill post agian next time i got some time an i remember! 031104

well...its been about 9 months since ive been here...my life has changed unbelieveably almost... i just turned 18... i hav a 4.3 gpa in my senior year in high school...i now hav a 2006 hyundai tiburon...i hav been working at rusty boardhouse for the past 3 or 4 months, which is a really sick job, and if it werent for this one other thing, you would think my life is just about perfect...but the truth is... i lost the most important thing in my life...i have done a lot of stupid shit and i ruined my relationship with the love of my life...we split up for a while and went our seperate ways pretty much because "i needed some time and space"...and im ready to hav a serious relationship again...and i am even further in love with her now then i ever was, but the problem is that she has done the opposite...i no she loves me...she tells me everyday, but the fact of the matter is that she has a lot of feelings for someone else... they started while we were appart...and now they are preventing us from being together again... i cant even hang out with her because after a few mins...i just crumble and start crying... its an unbelieveably tough spot to be in and theres just about nothing i can do... so dispite everything that has improved in the past 9 months, my life is still dampered by love and still hinging on her decision...hopefully everything works out